Being a homeowner doesn’t make me an adult, but my choices do.
I always feel embarrassed to tell people I own my flat.
I cringe at the inevitable response:
‘You’re so adult’ , they insist.
Me, the girl who comes up at 5”3 and has a collection of felt tip pens on her desk at work. But I do see why someone would say that. And in some senses, yes I do feel like an adult. But that’s not because I pay a mortgage.
I believe it’s choices like these that make me an adult:
It’s getting the earlier train to work to allow me enough time to walk from the station to my office. The walk puts me in a good mood.
It’s scheduling time to do laundry so I’m not stressed out by the sight of my overflowing basket, and I have enough clean clothes.
It’s getting dolled up to go dancing on Saturday night, because after a week of work I know that’s the outlet I need.
It’s making lunches for the week, because that saves me money and I know I’ll eat healthier.
It’s making time to see my parents, be present with them and listen to their stories.
It’s checking in with my finances regularly so I have a handle on my spending and saving.
The point is; owning a property, getting married – ticking off any of those milestones we’re fed as hallmarks of adulthood – don’t automatically equate to being an adult.
From where I stand (at the ripe old age of 25), being an adult is about doing what’s right for you.
It’s about being so in sync with your needs, that every decision you make is utterly intentional and wholeheartedly rooted in serving your best interests.
It’s a weird time we’re living in. It’s easy for our generation to feel like we’re doing things ‘wrong’ because our lives aren’t following the same pattern as our parents’.
But I see this as a good thing. We get to define what adulthood looks like. And that’s going to look different for everyone. So, next time you feel that tug of anxiety because another friend got engaged, or another bought their own place; practice a little kindness to yourself. Remind yourself that they’re likely doing what’s right for them.
And that’s all any of us can do.
